One thing I've noticed about our suburban culture, at least here in North Texas, is that a majority of the couples we know, and even some singles, own single family homes. I'm all for doing what makes you happy, but it seems like an unspoken rule that once you get married, you can only live the apartment life for 1-2 years, then you MUST buy a house. And don't even THINK about having a baby before you buy a house, either. Preferably, one should get a newer, cookie-cutter home. If this is what you WANT to do, do it and do so wisely. I do not have a problem with my friends owning their own home. They look nice! That fresh paint smells great, too. My issue lies with the notion that Joshua and I are somehow "doing it wrong" by living in an apartment with our family of four. People will ask when we are getting a house, why we don't have one yet and how we NEED a bigger space! There are a few reasons why we're not in a house yet.
When we got engaged, we had plans to wait a year after the wedding to try to have kids. God's gift to us came much earlier with our son Joseph and he was born before our wedding anniversary. We were in a 2 bedroom apartment that was enough for us at the time. We had problems with the management there and did not renew our lease. At the time that was coming to a head, we only had a short time to find a new place and move. I also found out I was pregnant with Cathrine and Joseph was only 6 months. My priority was getting another roof over our heads, so here we are, year 2 in another 2 bedroom.
Another reason is that we need to save some and get in a better financial place first, too. This is one thing Dave Ramsey is big on. I agree with him. Sometimes it IS better to rent. Besides, if my dishwasher breaks, it's the property's responsibility! Yes, we have had some financial struggles lately, but that can happen to just about anyone.
I did beat myself up for a while about not having a bigger space. I refuse to keep doing that because it does nothing but make me unhappy. Instead, we're making the most of it and I'm enjoying making the space our own and making it work for us as much as possible. I keep it reasonably clean, I've done a LOT of decluttering and minimized the junk we had. We will eventually own a house and it will be one we can afford and don't feel peer pressured into buying. I let go of "keeping up". I don't need to do it and it won't make us happy. It doesn't make us less of a family to live where we are. Do not feel sorry for us. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed and I won't be. We have a roof over our heads (which is someone else's floor), food in our fridge, running water, internet, central air, updated appliances and a loving family. Sounds like bliss to me. :)
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